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Chapter 296: Episode 56 – Reader and Writer (cw: suicide ideation)
— CHAPTER ■■ —
This is the 1863rd regression... Your 1864th life and you've accepted the proposal from your leader to become the villain of this story, the enemy of the world. You betrayed everyone that loved you to kindle the flames of hatred. You kill off your emotions so you can attack anyone and everyone in your path. You do this because she promised you that she will find you a grave.
She said if she could gather everyone under one banner, then she will be able to find a way to end your regressions. She's reliable. She's resourceful. Cunning... You trust her. Even when her plans included the death of your teacher and beloved sister, you listened. You and your remaining companions got this far because of her.
You play your role.
You stand at one of the tallest peaks of Seoul where the apocalypse dragon is sealed. All you need to do is use the sword in your hand to "unseal" it, though you know better. Your leader's plan is to use a different sword than what was prophesized. Instead of releasing the dragon, it would instead expand the seal to engulf the whole world. It would freeze time.
... The scenarios would stop. Everything would stop. You would stop. Finally, this world can be untouched by the scenarios, lulled into a deep sleep.
You're stuck in your misery, following orders like the minion you are, but as you approach the seal, a clear thought comes to mind. It's a name in the haze. One of the people who fights in the backdrop against your leader and your former companions. That's right, there's a battle here. It's hard for you to tell when your senses are so muddled. All you know how to do is destroy and kill. You have no target here, only a mission.
While your leader and former companions only have animosity for you, this man doesn't. He looks at you like you're a person, like you're human.
「 Kim Dokja. 」
You turn to look at Kim Dokja, this anomaly of a man that showed up out of nowhere and showed you a world you've never seen... You grip your Heaven Shaking Sword as you recollect what you saw that night when you threatened this entity that lived inside the other man. The Fourth Wall told you of a beautiful story when you interrogated it. It was a world where no one you loved needed to be sacrificed... A world where you didn't need to be a villain. For this moment, you forget about the scenario and the apocalypse dragon that dares to wake.
You break out of your sea of despair and your senses sharpen. The world doesn't seem so much like a blur and you can see the other man's face properly. The monotone colors are washed away as color starts to fill everything in. You don't say anything. Instead, you only piece together words in your mind—for some reason, you're sure Kim Dokja can hear you.
「 The world that you showed, does it really exist? 」
Kim Dokja doesn't answer you, but his mouth is agape as he tries to find the words. Your leader shouts why are you hesitating. Use the sword to expand the seal. Didn't you ask her to put an end to this all? Didn't you want to die?
You turn to her.
“I want to die.”
They're such familiar words... They haunt your mind almost every single day for the past tens of thousands of years. But this time, there's something else. Something familiar, though it shines so much brighter than you've ever experienced.
「 I want to live. 」
“I want to finish it here.”
「 If there is a chance, like the world I saw… 」
A part of you can't help but hope... And that part of you is the one who wins. You no longer want to be a character in a story. You want to write your own ending. A happy one. Just like the world Kim Dokja came from—the 3rd regression round where Kim Dokja exists.