This particular one, he thinks the hotel loves to hand out like it’s grandma’s butterscotch candy. It isn’t the first time he has had re-experience it. He’s not sure if it gets easier or harder every time.
Strangely, easier? Somehow.
He isn’t a mess like the first few time, but it’s not hard to see the signs of his stress: the clenched fists with white knuckles, the tremor in his arms, how feral and wild his pupils have grown. His breathing is deeper, like he is trying to keep himself from breathing too quick.]
[ There's a pause as he watches him carefully. There's no chance he's going to touch him in any way while he's in this state. Also, that isn't Joonghyuk's way of communicating, either. ]
... You're here, Jason Todd.
[ He doesn't think this is comforting, but it is the truth. ]
[His eyes blink very quickly several times, like he's refocusing out of himself. Instead of staring into the middle distance and becoming lost, he reboots again into hte present and starts shifting.
He reaches up to rub under his bottom lip with the back of his hand idly. Both eyes flick up to Joonghyuk, then look away.]
[ They don't want to be, but they are here. They aren't in the memories where Joonghyuk gets clocked by a twink and Jason dies to a clown. He doesn't say it's better. ]
[Joonghyuk. Don't simply give up after the food questioning. He runs his hand over Niah's head, then gives it a ruffle. Niah is sweet...] I'm okay. [To Niah.
He glances sidelong at Joonghyuk.]
...He had been coming. He just didn't make it in time.
[This is playful, even if it's a bit weak. Niah's head gets ruffled for the nip. He goes back to petting the dog. Spoilt.]
Oh yeah. Got a bunch of those. That's, like, every memory for the most part. Why, you want something to make fun of me about? You don't need a memory to do that, I'm sure.
[Jason does love dogs. They are good animals! They do not judge him, and they love him no matter how shitty of a person he happens to be sometimes.
He looks at Joonghyuk without saying anything for a long moment, but perhaps like he wants to say something. He opens his mouth; it's probably to say something dry and awful, as usual.
But stardust appears, and Joonghyuk gets another memory of why Jason's life isn't stupid.]
[ Dogs are the answer! Damn, another memory? Joonghyuk watches again, silently, and it's a familiar worth even if he seems unimpressed by old money dressings. There are a lot of people here, though he's also used to a large band, but what is important is the atmosphere.
It's comfortable. It's Christmas. It's not stupid. They seem... Happy, or as happy as they can be. ]
... I'm envious.
[ Not of Jason's or Bruce's life. He understands a single happy memory does not speak to all they've gone through, but... Still. ]
[This memory abates a lot of the sour taste from the other one, and he's almost thankful for it. Despite being a little tsundere about the more personal things of what he had been feeling in that moment.]
Why?
[It is maybe something Jason mildly takes for granted. There have been times when things have happened, and he wished he hadn't, but even now, he still takes some of it for granted because it's hard for him to get the chip off his shoulder.]
[Stop giving him shitty memories, he has enough of those!!! Ooooooo! He’s going to mclose it.
There’s a stern frown on his face that doesn’t go away. He dislikes the feelings of this one because they are terribly familiar to him. He’s mad because he has to feel them in someone else, and he’s mad he has to be reminded of them in himself.
He just looks pointedly at Joonghyuk because he thinks he doesn’t have to say anything.]
[ No, he doesn’t have to say anything. This is really how communication works. Joonghyuk in comparison doesn’t look mad, only because he knows Jason won’t try to comfort him in ways that makes him feel pathetic.
Niah whines some more, though Joonghyuk is composed. ]
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[ As if he wasn’t the one also cheating??? Also, why are you holding his wrist? ]
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[Because stop hitting him is why. And also because stardust happens! His memory isn't nearly as funny or entertaining as Joonghyuk's, unfortunately.
It's terrible, if he's honest.]
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There's a silence and Joonghyuk's left eyebrow twitches, as if he's letting the memory settle. ]
The clown is ugly.
[ Just so Jason knows his thoughts. ]
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This particular one, he thinks the hotel loves to hand out like it’s grandma’s butterscotch candy. It isn’t the first time he has had re-experience it. He’s not sure if it gets easier or harder every time.
Strangely, easier? Somehow.
He isn’t a mess like the first few time, but it’s not hard to see the signs of his stress: the clenched fists with white knuckles, the tremor in his arms, how feral and wild his pupils have grown. His breathing is deeper, like he is trying to keep himself from breathing too quick.]
Yeah.
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... You're here, Jason Todd.
[ He doesn't think this is comforting, but it is the truth. ]
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He reaches up to rub under his bottom lip with the back of his hand idly. Both eyes flick up to Joonghyuk, then look away.]
Unfortunately.
[The joke is so wry it might not even be a joke.]
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[ They don't want to be, but they are here. They aren't in the memories where Joonghyuk gets clocked by a twink and Jason dies to a clown. He doesn't say it's better. ]
Will you be all right?
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Yeah. I'll manage. If I can get through the week.
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Are you hungry?
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...Nah. Not right now.
[He can eat like it's not a big deal most of the time, but. It's fine. He doesn't feel hungry.]
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Niah will whine some before nosing Jason’s hand. The memory was spooky. ]
It’s only for a week. Try to stay annoying.
[ … ]
Did he ever come for you?
[ In any instance, really. ]
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[Joonghyuk. Don't simply give up after the food questioning. He runs his hand over Niah's head, then gives it a ruffle. Niah is sweet...] I'm okay. [To Niah.
He glances sidelong at Joonghyuk.]
...He had been coming. He just didn't make it in time.
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Niah accepts the pets ]
What was the point of having that car with expensive wheels if he’s not going to be on time.
[ Half-serious criticism. ]
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The criticism makes him huff out a dry, wry laugh. Bruce needs to be dunked on most of the time.]
I know. Maybe his GPS got him lost.
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Why wouldn’t Niah accept? His soul owner is a sociopath, apparently. Also Joonghyuk, a millennial: ]
This is why people use their smartphones for directions.
[ — ]
Do you have happier memories?
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Batman doesn't believe in texting and driving.
[THE DRIEST JOKE. The fact he can joke means he's alright now. Or better. He rubs his hand and thumb along Niah's nose and over the head.]
Nope. They're all horrible. I don't have a single good one.
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[ Niah closes his eyes as this happens to him, though once Jason’s hand stops the wolf gives him a playful and painless nip. ]
Stupid ones, then.
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[This is playful, even if it's a bit weak. Niah's head gets ruffled for the nip. He goes back to petting the dog. Spoilt.]
Oh yeah. Got a bunch of those. That's, like, every memory for the most part. Why, you want something to make fun of me about? You don't need a memory to do that, I'm sure.
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Your life isn't stupid.
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He looks at Joonghyuk without saying anything for a long moment, but perhaps like he wants to say something. He opens his mouth; it's probably to say something dry and awful, as usual.
But stardust appears, and Joonghyuk gets another memory of why Jason's life isn't stupid.]
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It's comfortable. It's Christmas. It's not stupid. They seem... Happy, or as happy as they can be. ]
... I'm envious.
[ Not of Jason's or Bruce's life. He understands a single happy memory does not speak to all they've gone through, but... Still. ]
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Why?
[It is maybe something Jason mildly takes for granted. There have been times when things have happened, and he wished he hadn't, but even now, he still takes some of it for granted because it's hard for him to get the chip off his shoulder.]
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The stardust waits for no one and rounds the same victims without care. With glints, another memory displays. ]
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There’s a stern frown on his face that doesn’t go away. He dislikes the feelings of this one because they are terribly familiar to him. He’s mad because he has to feel them in someone else, and he’s mad he has to be reminded of them in himself.
He just looks pointedly at Joonghyuk because he thinks he doesn’t have to say anything.]
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Niah whines some more, though Joonghyuk is composed. ]
I haven’t celebrated a holiday in a long time.
[ It’s a thought, some musing. Nothing much. ]
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