[ We are going to pretend they are snooping around shops because they are gremlins that like look, but Niah unfortunately again bumps into some glass as he's sniffing around. We are here...
This is the 1863rd regression... Your 1864th life and you've accepted the proposal from your leader to become the villain of this story, the enemy of the world. You betrayed everyone that loved you to kindle the flames of hatred. You kill off your emotions so you can attack anyone and everyone in your path. You do this because she promised you that she will find you a grave.
She said if she could gather everyone under one banner, then she will be able to find a way to end your regressions. She's reliable. She's resourceful. Cunning... You trust her.
You play your role.
You stand at one of the tallest peaks of Seoul where the apocalypse dragon is sealed. All you need to do is use the sword in your hand to "unseal" it, though you know better. Your leader's plan is to use a different sword than what was prophesized. Instead of releasing the dragon, it would instead expand the seal to engulf the whole world.
... The scenarios would stop. Everything would stop. You would stop. Finally, this world can be untouched by the scenarios, lulled into a deep sleep.
You're stuck in your misery, following orders like the minion you are, but as you approach the seal, a clear thought comes to mind. It's a name in the haze. One of the people who fights in the backdrop against your leader and your former companions. That's right, there's a battle here. It's hard for you to tell when your senses are so muddled. All you know how to do is destroy and kill. You have no target here, only a mission.
While your leader and former companions only have animosity for you, this man doesn't. He looks at you like you're a person, like you're human.
「 Kim Dokja. 」
You turn to look at Kim Dokja, this anamoly of a man that showed up out of nowhere and showed you a world you've never seen... You grip your Heaven Shaking Sword as you recollect what you saw that night when you threatened this entity that lived inside the other man. The Fourth Wall told you of a beautiful story when you interrogated it. It was a world where no one you loved needed to be sacrificed... A world where you didn't need to be a villain. For this moment, you forget about the scenario and the apocalypse dragon that dares to wake.
You break out of your sea of despair and your senses sharpen. The world doesn't seem so much like a blur and you can see the other man's face properly. The monotone colors are washed away as color starts to fill everything in. You don't say anything. Instead, you only piece together words in your mind—for some reason, you're sure Kim Dokja can hear you.
「 The world that you showed, does it really exist? 」
Kim Dokja doesn't answer you, but his mouth is agape as he tries to find the words. Your leader shouts why are you hesitating. Use the sword to expand the seal. Didn't you ask her to put an end to this all? Didn't you want to die?
You turn to her.
“I want to die.”
They're such familiar words... They haunt your mind almost every single day for the past tens of thousands of years. But this time, there's something else. Something familiar, though it shines so much brighter than you've ever experienced.
「 I want to live. 」
“I want to finish it here.”
「 If there is a chance, like the world I saw… 」
A part of you can't help but hope... And that part of you is the one who wins. You no longer want to be a character in a story. You want to write your own ending. A happy one. Just like the world Kim Dokja came from—the 3rd regression round where Kim Dokja exists.
[ Stepping out of that memory was like coming out of a whirlwind; she's disheveled, a bit out of place, and even Grigory in his lynx form is curled around her feet in an attempt to feel settled back into place.
A minion.
I want to die.
I want to live. ]
Dokja is a very important person to you, isn't he?
... The Kim Dokja here is one that hasn't done what I said yet. You can say he's one in the past or I'm one from the future.
[ Can't believe he's the one here to clear up that their canon points are different. Whether she wants to ATTACK Dokja is not his business. also where is my memshare. ]
It is a place that can only be reached towards the ends of the Scenarios, which is a series of hellish trials that can span years. The door to that place is open only then.
[ For a moment she stops to look at her feet, suddenly feeling ten times smaller; a child. ]
I saw one of Power's memories, and I -- It was confusing, because I remember going to that place to meet Denji and... apparently, I never showed up. [ She smiles, practiced -- it's not the least bit genuine. ] But the last thing I remember is rushing to him. So I can only assume what happened.
[ Joonghyuk doesn't seem to mind it, but he remembers that she said she was waiting for a boy. She might be young and there might be many people she'll meet in the future if she lives? Or if she surfaces again? He isn't sure. The point is, there are many people across the universe.
Still, sometimes a special someone needs to be held close. ]
She had promised to protect Denji no matter what, and without thinking her feet had already helped her get to the alley just before the cafe. Just because he said that he would be there -- just because she had hoped he be there -- waiting for her so they could runaway together.
But does she deserve it?
After everything she's done, despite all of his reassurance, does she deserve a space beside him?
Power comes to mind, and while she'll never say it out loud it's clear as day that she's dependent on Denji. And while she selfishly wants to cling to him there's a piece of herself that she can't forgive; betraying his trust, hurting him, ever thinking of leaving without him. ]
I -- [ Reze is many things, and unfortunately one of them is being a very convincing liar. ] I wouldn't. No.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
w2 thursday
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A minion.
I want to die.
I want to live. ]
Dokja is a very important person to you, isn't he?
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He doesn't want to say, but it's obvious. ]
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You lived a really long life.
If I was in your position, I think I'd wanna die, too.
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[ He closes his eyes. ]
I'm alive.
[ So, yeah. ]
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Open your eyes, stupid, stop doing this protagonist behavior.
What are you gonna do now that you've got your own story? Gonna live with Dokja until the end? I think you guys make a good couple.
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... I have to get him back first.
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You lost a grown ass man in the store?
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You know what. He's mad at Dokja. ]
Kim Dokja sacrificed himself... And he's trapped in an unreachable place.
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And he has the gall to tell me that I can come home with him, ha.
Unreachable… elaborate on that.
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[ Can't believe he's the one here to clear up that their canon points are different. Whether she wants to ATTACK Dokja is not his business. also where is my memshare. ]
It is a place that can only be reached towards the ends of the Scenarios, which is a series of hellish trials that can span years. The door to that place is open only then.
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And you're in the process of doing that...
Well, I guess if he keeps his word and brings me with him I don't mind helping bringing him back.
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[ So, yeah, Joonghyuk never told him, but he feels like they both know. ]
Why would you do that for someone you've only known for a couple of weeks? That would be four years of hell at minimum.
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He said he'd give me a "home".
[ For a moment she stops to look at her feet, suddenly feeling ten times smaller; a child. ]
I saw one of Power's memories, and I -- It was confusing, because I remember going to that place to meet Denji and... apparently, I never showed up. [ She smiles, practiced -- it's not the least bit genuine. ] But the last thing I remember is rushing to him. So I can only assume what happened.
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Still, sometimes a special someone needs to be held close. ]
... If you could return home—safely, would you?
[ This is a resolve question. ]
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She had promised to protect Denji no matter what, and without thinking her feet had already helped her get to the alley just before the cafe. Just because he said that he would be there -- just because she had hoped he be there -- waiting for her so they could runaway together.
But does she deserve it?
After everything she's done, despite all of his reassurance, does she deserve a space beside him?
Power comes to mind, and while she'll never say it out loud it's clear as day that she's dependent on Denji. And while she selfishly wants to cling to him there's a piece of herself that she can't forgive; betraying his trust, hurting him, ever thinking of leaving without him. ]
I -- [ Reze is many things, and unfortunately one of them is being a very convincing liar. ] I wouldn't. No.
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[ He isn't going to push her to make a decision, but it's a question she has to consider. There's no judgment in his voice or his expression. ]
If you want to go home with Kim Dokja, then you can.
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[ ?????? ]
Do you love Dokja?
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What kind of question is that?
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You do love him.
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[ What the fuck does that even mean. ]
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I love him, too, you know?
And don't worry, it's strictly platonic. He's like my second dad -- you two are like my dads!
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[ YOU ARE LIKE
17.
he is so tired. ]
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