how many times have you died (rika furude)

[malewife]

Comments

[malewife]

... Are youu stuck?

[syndromed]

[ ...

rika nods, sealing your typo here forever. ]

[malewife]

[ my sticky fingers. imagine if i typed stinky fingers. ]

What are you trying to accomplish?

[syndromed]

... I don't know anymore.

[malewife]

An end?

[syndromed]

What's the point of that?

I reached my happy ending. I was in the "happily ever after" for five years. And now I'm back. Maybe it'll just keep happening forever.

[malewife]

An end is different from an ending. Think of it as an end to all of it, including any happy moments.

[ A tomb, basically. ]

[syndromed]

What, then? Am I supposed to be grateful for those happy moments?

[malewife]

You wouldn't be able to feel anything if you find eternal death.

[syndromed]

Maybe that would be better than living in loops.

Or maybe I'm not the one who should die an eternal death.

[ ... those are two pretty different conclusions, but she's having trouble picking just one. so. ]

[malewife]

... Each person has their own answer.

[ He leaves it at that, though he doesn't quite understand. ]

You'd like to keep your facade, right?

[syndromed]

It doesn't take much to unwind it. With those profiles...

[ but, she nods. ]

Still. It isn't entirely a facade. It's nostalgic.

[ except the way she says 'nostalgic' sounds so bitter that it becomes impossible to believe that's how she thinks of it. ]

[malewife]

Yes, but some people are very courteous and considerate.

[ UNLIKE HIMSELF. ]

I'll hide it, then.

[ He will act accordingly to a small cute Rika. ]

[syndromed]

I planned to avoid speaking of the profiles to anyone.

But you're right. It's naive to think that just because they don't speak of them, they haven't all read them.

[malewife]

[ It’s true… He lets out an exhale. ]

You could always say it means dying in a videogame.

[syndromed]

And give the impression that I'm bad at games?

[ it's like that was clearly meant to be a joke, but she couldn't muster up the enthusiasm to sound like it. ]

[malewife]

[ If he was more expressive, he would do the weighing hand motions, but it's palpable in his voice. ]

Being bad at life? Or being bad at games. Which is better?

[syndromed]

They're basically the same.

[malewife]

One is socially easier to accept. That vampire talks to me like I'm some alien for having professionally played games for pay.

[syndromed]

... I was wondering about that, too.

[malewife]

[ EVERYONE IS THINKING HE'S A WEIRDO ]

... You must come from a world at an earlier time of technological advances.

[syndromed]

... I've made it as far as 1988.

I know that there are such a thing as famous chess players, though.

[malewife]

I was employed until the year 2018.

[ every time becoming unemployed and a terrorist. ]

You can consider it to professional chess, but in a digital realm. Different games, different strategies, and different rules.

[syndromed]

I see.

[ she seems to like the idea of professional gaming. but... ]

... I suppose the way professionals play games would be quite different from the way I enjoy them.

[malewife]

Work and play have always been different.

There are also no punishment games in Esports.