[ if only i pre-wrote and prepared everything beforehand...
So they must suffer this awful weekly event. It would have been better if these memories played like films where you're left to interpret, but no. They have to feel the comfortable emptiness and the cruelty of hope.
He crosses his arms. ]
... That's right. In the end, my greed was stronger than my weariness.
[ He watches it silently, curious to a fault. Only ten... His own world has allowed children to suffer, or make children into atrocities, so he should be accustomed to it, but he understands it isn't what children need.
[ It takes him a moment to draw some lines between things he has heard from her. A strong girl, lugging a large sword, someone worth living for. ]
… Your cavalier. [ A normal person would ask why when she tried to kill Harrow, but he also… relates… obviously. ] You will find happiness after this hotel?
Despite all that happened.
[ He looks off to where her parents and their cavalier once were in the memory. ]
I would like to think so. [...] Being back here again, I wonder if I shall ever truly return. But at the least, I believe she will live even if I don't, and that is some consolation.
... She may not be happy if you're not there with her. It could be a worse fate.
[ But by the tone of his voice, it isn't any chiding or scolding. It's just a truth and, if anything, there's understanding because he feels the same way. He shares because she did. ]
Even if I return with my younger sister, I am unsure of the fate of myself and my companions. [ ... ] We may be miserable until we meet our graves.
She always says this as well. No. I will never adopt a fighting style I am not skilled in. What a waste; no muscle will change that I have a necromancer's physical frailty.
[she's not just scrawny, all necros are kind of unhealthy.]
I don't consider them the same, but I'll settle for the latter if it gets me the chance to attain the former. I don't have the luxury to die. I am not my own to throw away.
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So they must suffer this awful weekly event. It would have been better if these memories played like films where you're left to interpret, but no. They have to feel the comfortable emptiness and the cruelty of hope.
He crosses his arms. ]
... That's right. In the end, my greed was stronger than my weariness.
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...Yes. I wanted to live, too.
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He says nothing regarding that. ]
Is she still your reason for living?
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[it's an unpleasant memory, but it's also so far away.]
The other child in that memory, Gideon. She is another reason.
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… Your cavalier. [ A normal person would ask why when she tried to kill Harrow, but he also… relates… obviously. ] You will find happiness after this hotel?
Despite all that happened.
[ He looks off to where her parents and their cavalier once were in the memory. ]
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[she bites her lip, looking a bit sorry, sad.]
I would like to think so. [...] Being back here again, I wonder if I shall ever truly return. But at the least, I believe she will live even if I don't, and that is some consolation.
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[ But by the tone of his voice, it isn't any chiding or scolding. It's just a truth and, if anything, there's understanding because he feels the same way. He shares because she did. ]
Even if I return with my younger sister, I am unsure of the fate of myself and my companions. [ ... ] We may be miserable until we meet our graves.
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[is that his hostage who he picked kdj over, yikes.]
You may be, but I prefer misery to losing my life, I think. Some forms, at least.
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[ things are very complicated. ]
You find some of it acceptable?
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[ He thinks she can learn to be happy more than she knows now. ]
But I suppose this makes you stronger than me.
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[staring back.]
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[ Stares back at her with the same intensity. ]
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Wanting to live isn't strength. It's an instinct. Perhaps you have less of it than I do. It's irrelevant.
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[ leg days are important. ]
Instinct would be the fear of death. Living and surviving are different, unless to you they are the same.
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[she's not just scrawny, all necros are kind of unhealthy.]
I don't consider them the same, but I'll settle for the latter if it gets me the chance to attain the former. I don't have the luxury to die. I am not my own to throw away.
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[ But he can accept necromancers are just all like this. In a kind of annoyed, but not actually annoyed tone: ]
What do you accept praise on.
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[this is such a lie but there's certainly no topic she accepts it gracefully.]
I know what I am and am not good at, I don't see why I ought to care about someone else's opinion.
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[ Him included, actually, but he uses similar reasoning. ]
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[no she's being difficult for sure.]