JASON TODD, new thorn in his side

[malewife]

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[malewife]

[ … ]

What?

[unrecked]

[Dryly:]

I thought I was a lifeguard. Had the red shorts and everything.

[malewife]

[ ......... he's like this, but the expressions are more mild. ]

So you were a lifeguard. With Royce.

[ This is a gesture to continue. After he makes sure that the wounds are healing fine after an NPC heal, Jason can return to be fully clothed. Quickly, he crosses his arms to stop himself from... You know. More touch. Hand hold. Etc. ]

[unrecked]

[Mood. Double mood. Jason will pet Niah instead…]

I woke up in the beach tower and went outside because I was supposed to be on duty. Someone was drowning so I went to save them.

…It was Lup. She acted weird to me at the time because she kept mentioning the hotel and wondering why we were there.

A shark attacked us and grabbed her. I decided to toss her back to shore, but it meant the shark got me instead. I drowned.

[malewife]

[ Wow. Jason's job as a lifeguard ended so fast. Niah's ears pin back as he receives pets, nosing closer before resting his head on Jason's thigh. ]

... It doesn't end there, does it?

[unrecked]

[Sweet Niah. He slowly and idly strokes Niah’s head and neck.]

No. I woke up somewhere else. On a dating game show with three bachelor contestants. People I knew. Cloud, Yuri, Sylvain. I remembered who I was. And the hotel. I had three questions to figure out which contestant was fake and which just had a scrambled egg brain.

[malewife]

[ he continues to be the winnie the pooh squint meme

Niah is just having a good time because he doesn't understand anything either of them is saying. ]

Did you win?

[unrecked]

Barely.

[I wish to be Niah. Niah is valid.]

They beheaded the fakes.

[malewife]

[ He closes his eyes for a moment. ]

... I imagine it keeps going from here.

[ While gruesome, Joonghyuk prepares for it to be worse. ]

[unrecked]

Our prize was we could pick a honeymoons destination. They didn’t like our hotel pick. So they dropped the floor out from under us.

We landed in a pit and ran into a girl Yuri knew who was injured pretty bad. But when she sighs apparently, it draws monsters. You can guess what she did, I guess.

[She sighed.]

It was some huge lizard dinosaur thing. I grabbed her and we ran down the only path into a dead end.

[malewife]

… This is really ridiculous.

[ Joonghyuk, for some reason, is very perturbed that it is a huge lizard dinosaur thing? ]

[unrecked]

[It’s fine probably?]

Yeah. There were two doors waiting on each side. I gave the girl to Yuri and told him to go in the one to the hotel because the monster had bitten his leg. I went into the one we could see Harrow and Hua Cheng in, but Yuri followed me.

The monster had been charging some kind of beam. It got us in the back as we went through.

Harrow and Hua Cheng were being attacked by some kind of wraith in a mansion. It ran when we got there. They didn’t know who we were or remember the hotel.

[malewife]

[ Uh… ]

So both of your plot lines are not relevant… To each other.

[ A dinosaur lizard monster that shoots a beam and then the high goths are fighting a wraith? ]

[unrecked]

I don't think so, yeah. Harrow and Hua Cheng thought they were siblings, so.

[Those two, then him and Yuri.]

The girl with me and Yuri. Something started happening to her. I guess she was turning into a monster, but she sighed again. We had to fight her and some more wraiths. I'm pretty sure I missed almost every shot I took with the guns they had.

[malewife]

[ He seems so tired, first: ]

You didn’t think to gag her.

[ Is it funny that Jason was a bad shot? Is it not funny? Joonghyuk is trying to decide. ]

I didn’t know you could shoot a wraith to begin with, but if it’s part of Hua Cheng and Harrowhark Harrowhark Nonagesimus’ story, then the guns there must be able to. You defeated her somehow?

[unrecked]

Look, I gave her to Yuri, and he knew. That's his fault.

[BLAME OTHERS! Listen.]

The bullets were silver, I think. [Shouldn't they be iron? Idk how the supernatural works. Silver is fine.] We got rid of them, yeah. Harrow had a note with a list of plot ideas for whatever we were a part of. Everything for a few seasons after Season 27 for a ten year contract. At the bottom it said, "End the show to go back."

Then a woman drove a car into the house and hit all of us.

[malewife]

It is his fault.

[ No, Jason? He agrees. He’s still unsure as fuck about silver bullets working on wraiths, but he isn’t the supernatural writer. ]

… This sounds like a metaphor.

[unrecked]

What, the woman hitting us with a car, or the bottom of the note?

[He's kidding.]

I rolled off the hood, so I don't think she saw me getting back up. She started berating the other three about how she pays our paycheck. We were ruining her show. The skeletons in the audience were getting up to leave.

I tried to sneak into the car so I could run her over.

[Joonghyuk, your son.]

[malewife]

All of this you went through.

[ and predictably cause I think Jason knows Joonghyuk is sociopathic enough: ]

Were you successful?

[unrecked]

[He pauses to peer at Joonghyuk. Then he smirks just a bit.]

Hell yeah.

[malewife]

[ There’s a silence, but it’s approving. Jason probably gets it. ]

… That isn’t the end, is it.

[unrecked]

[Don't be approving. PLEASE.]

Mostly. She started getting back up because of course she did, but we had enough time to get away through a hole that was opening.

[malewife]

[ She ran them over? He thinks it’s fair to kill her. ]

… You’re feeling yourself? No urge to go on a honeymoon or wear red swim trunks.

[ Lowkey fussy. ]

[unrecked]

[Yeah, in the moment, same.]

...For right now, yeah. It comes and goes.

[malewife]

[ Niah whines cause the Atmosphere seems sad. ]

You would make an annoying lifeguard. [ Just saying. ] … You will be all right.