how many times have you died (rika furude)

[malewife]

Comments

[syndromed]

Do you know why? How?

[malewife]

[ I meant 1864. Slaps my own paw. ]

I know why I die each time and why I live again. It was a choice I made long ago. Did you not get to choose?

[syndromed]

[ she debates answering this, because even if pretending not to hear him was an obvious way of deflecting, actually talking about it is still different.

talking about it was the key to everything in the end.

except, it wasn't the end. so what's the point?

hm. ]

... Sometimes, I'll choose how it happens.

[malewife]

[ To be honest, at this point, he would lay off if she did it again. ]

I've done the same, thinking that it'll be better next time.

[syndromed]

But is it?

[malewife]

… Sometimes better, sometimes worse.

The last regression—it was better. Everyone survived.

[syndromed]

Then is it over?

[malewife]

[ Hm... He hangs his clothes so they can dry now. ]

My companions and I... We had the opportunity to go back and repeat it again.

[ Basically, to die and live the loop. ]

[syndromed]

Why?

If you lived, why is that an 'opportunity'?

[malewife]

... A fool thought to split themselves in half to fulfill a promise and a condition.

For our world to spin on, there must be someone that sits in the seat of a helpless and unreachable god. That was the condition. Then the promise was to return home with us. They did both. One half trapped, the other half living blissfully with us. Memories divided in two.

[ He knows it sounds foolish, but... ]

This unreachable place is accessible at one point in the past.

[syndromed]

So it wasn't a perfect ending, even when you all lived.

[malewife]

No, because of that idiot. But we're going to get them back.

[syndromed]

... Good.

A happy ending needs all the players.

[malewife]

... Are youu stuck?

[syndromed]

[ ...

rika nods, sealing your typo here forever. ]

[malewife]

[ my sticky fingers. imagine if i typed stinky fingers. ]

What are you trying to accomplish?

[syndromed]

... I don't know anymore.

[malewife]

An end?

[syndromed]

What's the point of that?

I reached my happy ending. I was in the "happily ever after" for five years. And now I'm back. Maybe it'll just keep happening forever.

[malewife]

An end is different from an ending. Think of it as an end to all of it, including any happy moments.

[ A tomb, basically. ]

[syndromed]

What, then? Am I supposed to be grateful for those happy moments?

[malewife]

You wouldn't be able to feel anything if you find eternal death.

[syndromed]

Maybe that would be better than living in loops.

Or maybe I'm not the one who should die an eternal death.

[ ... those are two pretty different conclusions, but she's having trouble picking just one. so. ]

[malewife]

... Each person has their own answer.

[ He leaves it at that, though he doesn't quite understand. ]

You'd like to keep your facade, right?

[syndromed]

It doesn't take much to unwind it. With those profiles...

[ but, she nods. ]

Still. It isn't entirely a facade. It's nostalgic.

[ except the way she says 'nostalgic' sounds so bitter that it becomes impossible to believe that's how she thinks of it. ]