[ Joonghyuk doesn't want to move too much, so he's in the courtyard, sitting at the garden patio. No longer stinky this time. Just kind of staring at his sword.
Niah is the one that greets her first though, padding up to her to give her a look. ]
[ Niah gives her a greeting blink, animals just do that, and follows her back here. It takes him a moment before he looks up and register that she's here. ]
... You didn't need to come check on me. [ His tone isn't harsh, just tired. ] Fine.
[ But then he coughs a bunch of petals, lilac in color. A lot of petals. ]
[ Understanding. He doesn't say what's on his mind and instead more petals, but this he covers up. ]
... The place we went to—it messed with our minds towards the end. [ This is hard to talk about, really. So there's a long silence. ] I'm doubting who I am. It's difficult to tell if I'm here, or if I'm real.
I have some familiarity with this sensation. [...] You are here, and you are real, Yoo Joonghyuk. If there is anything else you are unsure of, I can provide clarity.
I find it easier if you do not fight against it; you cannot control it simply by willing it to be so.
[ And she is right. He listens intently, carefully, still unsure, but he considers it. ]
... I worry I will not be who I am at the end. [ But who is he to begin with? The hold on his sword tightens before it relaxes. ] Your mind—it was broken once?
[ Since she didn't mention parents, friends, or anything. That seems like hell. ]
... I've had a difficult spell before, but not quite the same. I was sinking into a dark sea. [ Depression. ] And I wished it took me. It would have been easier.
But we are here. [ ... ] Does this fulfill what you came here to accomplish?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
W1 : THURSDAY, PRE-CURFEW
Niah is the one that greets her first though, padding up to her to give her a look. ]
no subject
[she walks in, very rigid and as severe as ever.]
I am here to see about your emotional well-being.
no subject
... You didn't need to come check on me. [ His tone isn't harsh, just tired. ] Fine.
[ But then he coughs a bunch of petals, lilac in color. A lot of petals. ]
no subject
[...]
I have found that that color often represents dishonesty.
no subject
[ Understanding. He doesn't say what's on his mind and instead more petals, but this he covers up. ]
... The place we went to—it messed with our minds towards the end. [ This is hard to talk about, really. So there's a long silence. ] I'm doubting who I am. It's difficult to tell if I'm here, or if I'm real.
no subject
I have some familiarity with this sensation. [...] You are here, and you are real, Yoo Joonghyuk. If there is anything else you are unsure of, I can provide clarity.
I find it easier if you do not fight against it; you cannot control it simply by willing it to be so.
no subject
It being an aftereffect is frustrating... I find myself wanting to forget.
You simply let it be. [ ... ] How? I only know how to fight and resist.
no subject
[his personality is just like that, she thinks.]
Experience was the teacher. Resisting it does not help, but time and it will pass. Your mind is not an enemy, even when it is broken.
no subject
... I worry I will not be who I am at the end. [ But who is he to begin with? The hold on his sword tightens before it relaxes. ] Your mind—it was broken once?
no subject
[...] Not recently, but...I've become accustomed to reasoning through the spells.
no subject
[ Since she didn't mention parents, friends, or anything. That seems like hell. ]
... I've had a difficult spell before, but not quite the same. I was sinking into a dark sea. [ Depression. ] And I wished it took me. It would have been easier.
But we are here. [ ... ] Does this fulfill what you came here to accomplish?
no subject
[she sighs, because she doesn't necessarily want sympathy, but also she doesn't feel any anger or defensiveness about it right now.]
We are here. And it does. I hope it passes for you soon.
no subject
It will.
[ except it gets worse, but he will remember her words, anyway. ]